5 September 2020 – Home of Cricket Ainsbury Avenue
Thackley CC v Ilkley 2XI
TCC 130 / 6 (22.1)
Ilkley 128 / All out (43.3)
At the start of the day Thackley sat second bottom of the division with only Ilkley keeping them above the dreaded relegation line. A battle between the bottom two on a wet cloudy afternoon was never going to be pretty but thankfully Thackley managed to squeeze out a result which should keep them in Division C next season.
Ilkley batted first and made a solid start as the opening partnership with some luck managed a 35 run stand. Ilkley then hit the panic button and lost 8 wickets for 45 runs. Craig Wiseman did the damage again with a devastating spell of 15-7-18-6 and although Andy Roberts was a bit more expensive his three wickets were just as valuable.
With Ilkley in turmoil Thackley’s opening bowlers made way for Stefan Mather and Shane Marshall who had the easy task of knocking over Ilkleys final partnership. This proved more difficult than it looked as Ilkley managed to bat 13 overs adding 45 runs until Marshall bowled a straight one and left Ilkley all out for 128.
Considering Thackley haven’t managed 128 in the last two innings this was by no means game over. Paul Naylor nicked off in the 2nd over, Jack Allport was LBW soon after and Stefan Mather was bowled for 2. This left Thackley in a hole which only decent players could get us out of. Step up Marshall 21, Jack Holland 39, Andy Roberts 19 and Luke Holroyd 24* who saw Thackley home 6 wickets down.
Bradley Goodaire Report:
The build-up to the game was dominated by the return of Bradley Goodaire who came back to Thackley for the first time since he was booted out for being too good looking. After appearing on the front cover of magazines and earning too much money our women started showing a little too much interest and Jack Mills also started getting jealous. Alan Cuff had also moved up the Goodaire’s family chain and became No.1 son which was the final nail in Bradley’s Thackley career. Having decided to live in Burley Bradley was annoyed when Burley 3rds rejected him and he had to move to Ilkley CC instead. Bradley then found out he isn’t as good as Paul Dover so was asked to embarrass himself in the 2XI this afternoon. This wasn’t a problem for our former skipper who made his way to the wicket at 13:45 and returned to the tent at 13:45. After taking guard Wiseman knocked his wickets over for a golden duck (see video on social media)
Not to worry, Bradley is the opening bowler and would have the chance to make up for his lack of runs by taking loads of wickets……………….7-0-58-1. Once TCC always TCC eh Brads???
First ball! pic.twitter.com/01SvYDXJAL
— Kyle McGinnis (@MomoMcGinty) September 5, 2020
Jack Holland Report:
Jack Holland produced the worst half of cricket I’ve ever seen while we were fielding this afternoon. With an extra spring in his step cause Luke Holroyd was next to him Jack threatened to ‘slot’ a teammate, gave away runs in the field cause he couldn’t be bothered sprinting, argued with the opposition batsman as he left the pitch and called our captain a number of names because he didn’t agree with his opinion. At least the umpires were safe this week.
I’m beginning to repeat myself but Jack just can’t help himself. No-one is safe from his ‘win at all costs’ attitude. One day Jack will play the game for the love of the game but until then he’s a reporters dream.
Jack managed an impressive 39 runs and batted very well but unlike Luke Holroyd he couldn’t see us home and gave his wicket away toward the end. We’ve 3 more games to go and I’m hoping he’ll calm down but I’ve a feeling he’ll make the most of it. He’s also started threatening this reporter about the content of the Jack Holland Report. If you see Jack on the streets of our village or on social media show him some love.
Mule of the week:
Arise Sir Kevin Dewhirst – I’m not sure if I’ve ever met a captain who has no idea of what he’s doing off the field, a good job he knows what he’s doing on it. He also won the toss and fielded first which has not been done at TCC since 1999.
Arise Sir Paul Naylor – After promising all week that Bradley was going over the clubhouse first ball Naylor skips down the wicket and greets a full toss with the middle of his bat. It should have gone miles but in true Naylor fashion it didn’t hardly leave the square and he scampered through for a quick single. Needs to quit, go to the gym, or quit.
Arise Sir Shane Marshall – Imagine being the only wicket Bradley took! I don’t care how far you hit him over the clubhouse.
Arise Sir Aston Dalladay – What a lovely lad this young man is. He wants to be wicketkeeper but was asked to bowl instead so waited patiently for his chance which never came because we bowled Stef and an injured Musky instead. Thanks for your subs though Aston.
Arise Sir Jack Mills – Never seen him so scared when Jack Holland threatened to ‘slot’ him for enjoying himself. Mills should know better and a cuddle with Fudge made life worthwhile when he got home.
Arise Sir Stefan Mather – 2 runs, 0 wickets and Stef openly admits he can’t wait for the season to end so he can leave (again).
Man of the Match:
Only one name of the list this week as Luke Holroyd brought a level of professionalism that we’ve lacked in recent years. His attitude is second to none and his 24* was the classiest innings we’ve seen all season. Probably the most important innings of the season as he made sure Thackley have one foot in Division C next season. What a waste of talent this lad will be in the lower reaches of the Bradford League. Luke is also the sponsor of Thackley U9’s and for all your gardening needs please contact H&S Horticulture via Facebook or you can contact Luke Holroyd on 07961214823.
Thackley 1XI travel to St Chads requiring a handful of points to make sure Division C cricket is played at Ainsbury Avenue in 2021.